clinging to daily habits

I have been clinging to some (almost) daily, doable habits that I've worked really hard to establish. They are each small and pleasurable enough that I really can't make excuses. The benefits are huge and they make me feel like a person. 

1. Going for an early morning walk. This helps with my sleep, experts say, getting outside early in the day. Jill and take a short walk and get a splash of sunshine on our faces.

2. Working out for 20 minutes. I have been using this YouTuber, Mr and Mrs Muscle. 20 minute is achievable, and most days I can fit it in. I try to get to it the second I put Jill down for her nap.

3. Drinking a large mason jar of water, 24 ounces by noon. Because I'm bad at drinking water, measuring is a must + no expensive cup needed. 

4. Listening to an audiobook on my way to carpool. While this is a pleasure, it's also a discipline. Books are long form, and like lots of people my attention span is half ruined. But if I take 10 minutes to listen, then I'm very likely to get hooked and listen to more.

5. Getting dressed everyday. This is so good for my soul. Everyone deserves to look nice and taking the time to get dress, put on make up, and fix my hair is not frivolous or shallow. It's dignifying. 

6. Reading 2 chapters of the Bible/day. I usually listen on audio. I'm trying to read through the Bible chronologically. I'm in Leviticus. 

salmon sandwiches

I have declared that I'm in a long season of simplification and giving myself so much grace.

"Spread thin" is the theme of me right now. And that is totally ok! I just need to know it and accept it and remember it.

And yet there are non negotiables such as meals. Can't let those go. 

In my post about plan B meal planning, I reminded us all that fast food is not necessarily fast or cheap!

Enter: the salmon sandwich

Bake a salmon, buy some good buns, spread on lots of mayo, and lettuce. How easy is that?

This meal keeps us from ordering out. It costs about half of what it would cost our family to go to Chick fil A or pick up pizza. It's also filling and better for us. Nutritionally dense (I love this phrase). I even use foil on the pan so I don't have to wash it. 

......

The other day, in a moment of meal planning and cooking fatigue, I made a list of 10 easy meals. 

Some allow for variations on the same dish. Roasted chicken thighs and vegetables. I can use different seasonings and vegetables and it becomes a different meal every time.

Some are easy recipes I know by heart...spaghetti. 

I feel so much freedom in only having to choose from this short list for a little while. It's got me wondering what other areas of my life I can simplify. 

Thinking is too hard sometimes. As I've written this post, Jill has climbed on the kitchen table at least 5 times! Ha, see why I need everything to be easy!

What's your easiest meal? 

the thick of it

I have fallen off the blogging wagon like you do when life is busy. So I thought I would give a little check in, and then hopefully back to my regularly scheduled posting.

My older 2 children were part of our school's production of The Music Man this past weekend. It was excellent! I'm so proud of their performances. They are also involved in tennis, track, and some church activities. I drive a lot.

George is crushing the 5th grade (at least according to my standards). He's happy for the time change and ready for summer. He roams the neighborhood and is always with friends.

Caroline is in 2nd grade. She's my helper and the best big sister. She's always looking out for and playing with Jill. I would like to get her involved in some activities like piano or tennis. She has a lot of energy.

Stephen Jr. turns 15 in April which means he's so close to driving. I will miss his music preferences (mostly the Beatles) he chooses in the car, but I am looking forward to having a driver and hopefully getting some relief on my schedule.

I recently told myself that the demand on my time is at a fever pitch. There's only so much I can delegate in this season. But that will change. Everyone is always getting older. Stephen will drive. Jill will not be such a liability. Even this week she learned to get on and off the couch. Hallelujah! She's discovering her limitations and boundaries. And one day she will go to preschool. I will not be sad.

This verse, Proverbs 14:4 has meant a lot to me lately.

Where there is no oxen the stall is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox. 

I don't have a tidy life, but I do have all these people and they are so beautiful and wonderful, becoming the best and most hilarious humans.

And these angelic curls! Can you believe it? As if we needed another reason to love Jill more. 

tip for mamas home with babies

Babies are wonderful, and babies are so much work! One year olds are the worst, extremely mobile and yet they have no sense of danger. And why God made them so curious and drawn to the most off limits thing in any given room, I will never know!

All I know is this. Set up your pack in play. Fill it with toys, board books, and a comfy quilt. Utilize it on a routine basis. I like to set my little Jilly in hers midmorning after she's been very busy crawling all over the house and trying to kill herself. She may protest a little, but typically settles in and will play for about 20 minutes.

I usually spend this time getting dressed for the day or prepping dinner. 

best chocolate cake ever

Making this chocolate cake is our Valentine tradition. I've tried a lot of chocolate cake recipes but this is THE one. It's from Jenny Rosenstratch's cookbook, How to Celebrate Everything. 

a few tips....

1. Line the cake pans with parchment paper, tracing and cutting out perfect circles. Then spray the sides with cooking spray. This ensures the cakes come out smoothly.

2. Freeze or refrigerate the cake layers before you ice them. It makes them so much easier to work with. 

3. Use smaller cake pans, 8" or 9" for this recipe because this cake is delicate. Larger cake layers tend to fall apart easily. 

I'm making this sound fussy. It's worth it. Trust me.

cake

2 cups sugar

1 1/4 cups flour

3/4 cups unsweetened cocoa powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

1  teaspoon baking powder

2 large eggs

1 cup room-temperature strong black coffee

1 cup buttermilk

1/2 cup canola oil or vegetable oil

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Cut out parchment paper and grease the pans. Mix all ingredients and bake in a preheated oven (350 degrees) for approximately 25-30 minutes depending on your oven. Consider it done when a knife comes out clean.

frosting

1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature

1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled

1 tablespoon whole milk

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Use a mixer. The icing makes just enough for the cake, none to spare.

.......................

And just for fun! Here's me + my Valentine. This was our first date. Summer 2000. Jackson, MS. I was 17 and Stephen was 19. 

thrifting + the family shopping

I thrift. I've always dabbled, but these days I'm really into it! I have a lot of reasons, but my main one is I am severely disappointed with the quality of most products. I find that even paying discounted prices for new, well known, name brand items does not deliver most of the time. Combine that with the wear and tear our lifestyle puts on clothes, shoes, household items, etc. and it only makes sense to buy second hand. It's economical.

Full disclosure, it does take a little more time and skill to thrift. Even beyond that, it takes time to do the family shopping in general.

I have discovered that this needs acknowledgment. This was a real breakthrough for me. I have had to give shopping a bigger spot in my mind and in my schedule. With the ability to order everything online, it feels like it should take no time. And it also feels like something we should not do so much. Shouldn't we stop spending and acquiring so much?! But, the reality is we need stuff. Stuff to run a home and stuff to wear. Kids grow and seasons change. The family shopping is a whole thing. I repeat. The family shopping is a whole thing. So let's just give it the proper place and space it deserves. 

Okay, so now that I've accepted this is a time consuming and necessary responsibility of mine...how am I going to approach it? 

Lately, I have been taking regular trips to my local thrift stores. I try to buy second hand, first. Obviously if I can't find what I need, I buy new.

Here's a few of my recent wins...

I bought a mirror for my boys' bathroom for $15. It looks so good! I like the eclectic vibe it gives. It feels acquired and layered. 

I've been building a small collection of shoes for Jill to grow into at $2-$5/ pair. 

My oldest likes dress clothes, but he's only 14 and still growing. I've picked up some men's shirts and dress shoes for pennies. They all look brand new.

I feel so grateful when I find a deal. It feels like God specially put it there just for me! 

Recently, I wanted some casual everyday, mom-work tops. I found this oversized button down (which are so in, btw, and a 100% cotton L.L.Bean sweater. The color feels very Valentine-y). I paid total $8 for both. What a rush.

And I bought Jill's miniBoden top at a consignment sale. We are so cute!!!

Here's a couple of tips if you want to become a thrifter: 

1. Just because it's cheap does not mean you have to have it. Only buy it IF you need it and if you LOVE it. It needs to be a 10 out of 10.

2. Go regularly. Buy very few items and make very selective purchases. Often, if you have a win, you'll think...what else can I buy in here?! Don't. Take your one or two goodies and go back next week. 

There is beauty in restraint.

And just for fun while we're on this topic, let me share my guilty pleasure....it's kristalavrusik's instagram account. When I'm done with everything for the night, I've been doing a deep dive and going through her old reels. She has so much thrifting wisdom to share. Her focus is personal style. My favorite takeaway is that she doesn't take it all so seriously! 

Do you thrift? 

stuffed pepper casserole

I love stuffed peppers, but the recipes are too fussy and labor intensive for me in this season of life. All the prep you have to do with the peppers. Ain't nobody got time for that! This casserole is a satisfying alternative, and it is also one of those recipes where you can throw in beans, veggies, chopped spinach...whatever cheese you need to use up. It's versatile. 

Ingredients:

1 lb ground beef

one onion, diced

1 spoonful jarred garlic

2-3 bell peppers, cut into 1 inch pieces

1/2 cup rice (measured before cooking)

1 can rotel tomatoes

1 cup Mexican blend cheese + a little extra for topping 

salt and pepper to taste

1 teaspoon oregano

Cook rice. I always like to cook mine in chicken broth for flavor. In another pan, sauté diced onion in some olive oil, add garlic, and then beef. Drain when done. Add rotel tomatoes and cooked rice when cooled just a bit, then cheese. Season with salt, pepper and oregano. 

In a casserole dish, layer diced peppers and then pour on beef mixture. Top with some cheese. Bake in oven on 350 for 30 minutes covered with foil. Remove foil for the last bit of cooking and let the cheese get a tiny bit browned. 

I cut up some fresh spinach and mixed it in the beef mixture. Herbs would also be nice.

My family really enjoyed this meal. I served it with a side of frozen broccoli. And of course I doubled the recipe. Cook once, eat twice. Always.

And yes I did use aluminum pans. This would be a good meal to take to a new mom or a sick friend.

mom needs to be pleasant

A few years ago I was listening to a podcast about decorating and making a warm and welcoming home. It was a conversation between 2 moms, and the interview began with a basic question. "So where do you start when you want to make a beautiful home?" 

The interviewee responded with the most surprising yet profound answer. She said, "Well, for starters, mom needs to be pleasant."  She elaborated about how mothers have so much influence over the atmosphere of the home, and that the most perfect pillows and paint colors are worthless if mom's mood takes everyone down. 

Pleasant happens to be one of my second grader's vocabulary words this week, defined as friendly and likable. 

Mom needs to be pleasant. I have been clinging to this mantra this week. I've had a little cold. My sleep hasn't been great. The baby is not the best napper. People keep eating! A child needs multicolored sharpies and a piece of plexiglass in less than 24 hours for a school project. A mouse chewed through a giant bag of oatmeal. I put marinara on my taco instead of salsa and didn't realize until after I ate it. It was weird. 

I feel irritated and irritable! 

But...do I actually want to take my whole family down with me? Definitely, no. 

If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.  Proverbs 14:1

A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. Proverbs 29:11

Fake it till you make it. 

I have learned and am still learning how to not act the way I feel at all times. We can govern our emotions and provide stability and peace even when (and especially) we don't feel the sweet feelings. 

Also, I have learned that when I'm in a bad way....a batch of cookies covers a multitude of sins. So I made some cookies.

I'm so thankful for the weekend and a fresh start each day. Can I get an Amen?! 

contentment contentment contentment

I accidentally have a word of the year. Contentment. I didn't set out to think of a word, but I needed to cheer myself on in a positive direction, and contentment is the word I kept repeating to guide myself to a better place. 

I also have a mantra: focus on the baby's yams. Stay with me while I explain. 

In our family, someone, most often me, will say "look at this baby's yams." And then no one can resist. Naturally, we will gather around saying "oh WOW, look at those yams!" Sometimes 3 or 4 of us will elbow and fight over who is going to relish the yams the most. It's so easy to delight in a baby's chubby legs. I could squeeze them off with joy. They can even melt away the moodiest teenage mood.  

This exercise with the yams is a template for how I want to enjoy the priceless gifts right in front of me. It's how I'm cultivating contentment. Be in the moment. Enjoy what I have. Delight in simple pleasures with gratefulness.

In a big family, heck, in life....there's always a situation, a problem, something unresolved. Sometimes it's heavy and sometimes it's just nagging like a stupid house project. That thing whatever it is can really suck all the joy right out of ya. 

So y'all. Let's focus on the baby's yams this weekend. Breathe some fresh air, smile, have a laugh, sing a hymn. Make a cup of coffee and take it on the porch.

And if you need more motivation on contentment, read the February 16 morning reading from Charles Spurgeon, who is only slightly more eloquent than yours truly. 

plan b meal planning

I think we all know what plan A meal planning is. Make a plan, go to the store, cook your meals. 

My plan A: I plan our meals from Wednesday to Wednesday. I look over my calendar to see if we have any evening events or activities. Then, if I'm good, I will take inventory of my fridge, freezer, and pantry and see what ingredients need to be used. I plan my meals around those ingredients. 

It's a great plan...if I work my plan. But of course it doesn't always happen like that.

So this is my main advice about meal planning: Plan B meal planning. 

Plan B meal planning is my standing plan for when plan A fails. And it most definitely will. 

There's 3 components to a successful plan B. 

1. Keep a stocked pantry.  Instead of focusing on a plan that requires so much discipline, strategic shopping, and cooking, I have shifted my focus to building a stocked pantry and freezer, my own little in house store. This way I have options. I can change as the day changes. I have several "meals" in ingredient form on standby. 

2.  Stock fast foods. Frozen pizzas, Ramen noodles, chicken nuggets. While I know the pitfalls of keeping junk food around, I have found it is preferable to being forced to order take out. 

My logic is if I don't have some super fast, easy button options, I'm going to be forced to go to Little Caesars. Do you know how much it cost my family to eat one meal at the cheapest place to get pizza? Conservatively, $50. Say we do that 3x a month...that's $150. I can buy 5 or 6 large salmon filets at Aldi for that amount. 

So from a standpoint of managing resources, I'm better to stock up on groceries, whether that's salmon or Raman, and own the fact that I am not going to feel like cooking every meal. Also, I need a few meals that the kids can make for themselves.

Having the junk allows for no excuses to go out to eat. Nothing wrong with going out. I love to go out on purpose, just not as a default. Also, meals out are not typically fast or cheap! 

3. Cook efficiently. As much as I can, when I cook, I double or triple recipes. I harness the energy I'm already spending to maximize my efforts. I only do this with the foods we absolutely love. I'm not going to experiment and make a giant West African peanut soup (even though that recipe turned out amazing). Chili, taco meat, spaghetti sauce - all our favorites, I'm going bulk. 

Having leftovers and meals for the freezer is absolutely necessary to managing my time and energy well.

Plan B meal planning is simply making a reliable back up plan because plan A requires more discipline than life allows (at least for me in this season of life). If it's a good week, great! I ride that wave. But if I resort to Plan B, I count that as a win, too.

3 baby items that have stood the test x 5 babies

I'm not a stuff person with babies. Like one of my fellow minimalist mom friends hilariously said, "give me a boob and a diaper and I can take this baby anywhere." My sentiment exactly.

I just had no tolerance for baby carriers, breast pumps, nursing covers, wipe warmers, all the various seats and swings. If I had any of it, I mostly borrowed and rarely used it. I'm not saying this is a moral issue, it was just my preference. 

BUT...there's 3 baby items I really LIKE and that have stood the test x all 5 of my babies over the 13 year age span between my oldest and youngest. I'm attached to these products. I even think these things would be nice for grandparents to have and keep on hand at their house. 

1. The first is the Yookidoo bath toy. These are so fun! It's battery powered and recycles the bath water like a little faucet. You know how babies are mesmerized by the water running and when it's time to turn it off, they stand up in the tub and want to get out. Well, this is the solution. It comes with lots of cups and accessories, and it's just a big ol' hit at our house.

2. The second is the Fisher Price booster seat. Classic. With my first, I bought a charming Jenny Lind high chair, and it bit the dust within 6 months. The wooden tray did not hold up. Plus, it was too big for our tiny house at the time. It was a sad day when I threw it in the burn pile, but that's when I bought the iconic lime green and turquoise booster that has done its job so well. Also, you most likely need a booster to travel anyways, so it's easy to just have one.

3. The third is the Chicco Umbrella stroller. I am such an umbrella stroller enthusiast. I love the Chicco (mine is much older than the one linked) because it's sturdy. It's light weight and small enough to pop it in and out of the trunk of the car while running errands, and it's solid enough to take on an actual walk around the block. It doesn't replace my actually jogging stroller, but like the booster it's easy for travel and day to day use.

So there's my 3. I didn't think I'd still be writing about baby items at 40 years old, but I'm so glad I am! 

What about you parents and grandparents out there? What products do you swear by? 

mentone getaway

Stephen and I drove up to Mentone for the long weekend all by our big boy and big girl selves. No kids! 

Any time I make a plan, book a place, arrange childcare, I feel like a mature, full grown ADULT.

This trip was pure serenity. 

The timing was perfect because I have been slightly broke down with the motherhood. Having a busy 15 month old is kicking my fanny. I had not forgotten what a handful they are at this age, but oh boy, living it day to day is a whole thing. 

You can't get ANYTHING done ever. Ever ever ever ever. 

To step away from my responsibilities for a few days did not hurt my feelings. The older 2 children were on a church trip, and grandparents stepped in to handle the younger 3. Whooo hoo! FREEEEEDOM.

We had the best time -- eating, walking, hiking, and talking.....uninterrupted.

We went to Desoto Falls, 

the Wildflower Cafe, 

...and enjoyed all the scenery, so sparse and wintry.

We went out to lunch both days but made really simple meals at the cabin for breakfast and dinner.

Not spending a bunch of money is one way this trip was extra relaxing. 

We had no hard decisions to make. 

I started a new book. We watched movies. Listened to music.

One thing we did, which we loved, was have some intentional planning, praying, and envisioning meetings. I teased Stephen, calling them "break out sessions." We had a total of three.

The 1st break out was about general things we needed to talk about....a brainstorm.

The 2nd, we went through each kid, discussed goals we had for them, parenting stuff, and practical issues to address.

The 3rd meeting, we mapped out a vision for where we want to be in 1, 5, and 10 years, Lord willing. 

We chatted career, house projects, finances, health goals, teenagers, college, cars, preschool. AAHH! We covered it all.

We found this to be a real time of clarity and aligning our vision and goals as a couple. We agreed that this would be a great practice to revisit every year in January.

Also, 3 nights was the perfect amount of time away, plenty of time to settle in and relax, but not so long that it's hard to reenter reality.

L'Amour Rock, you were so good to us. 

wardrobe contentment + blog recommendation

The phrase "cultivate contentment" has been on my mind lately. I've made it a little mantra I repeat to myself. Especially this time of year, in my wardrobe, I have felt discontent. I'm bored. I want to burn it all down and start over. So I have to tell myself to be content. Be grateful for what I have. Life is not about a perfect wardrobe. No one cares. 

Here's how I comfort myself when my closet feels stale.

1. I take everything out and pretend I'm shopping my own closet. I hang up what I "bought," and make it look pretty like it would look in a store. 

2. I focus on doing a better job with my make up and hair. I'd paint my nails if I didn't have a 15 month old.

3. I plot my next purchase or I buy one item to mix it up, usually a colorful top. Right now I'm really thinking I need some royal blue. 

At least one thing I'm better about now than I used to be is buying more classic pieces that stand the test of time. I purchased this J.Crew Factory city coat over 4 years ago and it's going strong, style wise. One of my best friends saw me wearing it and told me she just ordered the same coat! 

And while I'm on the topic of wardrobe classics, I want to recommend Ann Mashburn's blog, You Need This I Promise. She is a clothing designer and former fashion editor. She writes all about clothes and fashion! I love that she's older because I find that so much style advice is often from 23 year olds. No offense to the young gals, I just love Ann's style wisdom that only comes with years of experience. 

diet veggie soup

Everyone I know wants to lose at least 5 lbs. And often, it is those last 5 lbs, a relatively small amount of weight, that are the hardest to lose. So stubborn! Sure they'd fall off if we starved ourselves, but we know that's not good or realistic. These are a lifestyle change 5 lbs. 

Because I'm not a dieter and I don't swear off certain food groups, my approach is to focus on healthy, sustainable habits. What can I have that would be good for me and help me trim up a bit? See the psychology there? What do I get to enjoy? vs. What do I need to cut out? 

That's where diet veggie soup comes in. I came across this idea in a health magazine a few years ago. They called it diet soup. I will share my recipe, but it's mostly a concept, a formula. 

root vegetables + broth + canned tomatoes + beans + greens

diet veggie soup

extra virgin olive oil

onion diced

2 carrots diced

2 ribs celery diced

1 clove garlic minced

1 can fire roasted tomatoes

2-3 cups broth (chicken or vegetable)

1 cup of cauliflower cut into small pieces

1 can cannelloni beans drained and rinsed

1 large handful spinach chopped

1 teaspoon Italian herbs

salt and pepper to taste

Heat onion, carrots, and celery in oil on medium heat for 7-10 minutes. Add garlic and cook for 1 minute. Pour in broth, tomatoes, beans, cauliflower, herbs, salt and pepper. Allow to simmer for 30 minutes or until carrots and cauliflower are cooked. Add spinach 

Top with a creamy, white cheese of your choice...fresh Mozzarella, feta, goat, or ricotta. Remember this is not about deprivation. Cheese is allowed.

I made this recipe yesterday and it was the most satisfying luxurious lunch for mom on a cold, dreary January day!

home management

Before Jill was born, I started looking more seriously into the topic of home management. I knew I needed to get my act together because unlike several years ago when I had a bunch of babies at home and it was ok for everyone to stay in pajamas all day, now is different. The big kids have commitments and obligations. There's homework, practices, and appointments. My ship (our home) needs to be in working order!

I did a lot of googling and looking for guru's on YouTube, but ultimately landed on this book, Home Management by Kim Brenneman. It's solid gold. Honestly, it's a bit boring at times as a read, but the wisdom she shares is so valuable. My suggestion would be to go through it slowly and chew on it bit by bit. I wish I had this as a younger mom. 

My 2 biggest takeaways:

1. Create a home management binder.  This will hold all the important information you need to reference regularly. Mine has our budget, home repair lists, family meeting notes, and a personal category. It's so great to have everything in one place. Also, this is the place to put all the plans, habits, and details about your days of the week. See below.

2. Create a days of the week schedule. This is mine.

Monday cleaning

Tuesday errands

Wednesday office

Thursday laundry + kitchen

Friday fun! or catch up day

This doesn't mean that I only clean on Mondays or that I do paper work all day Wednesday, it just shows me where to lean in and address issues. It gives each major category a proper day, a time slot to be handled. 

Before this method something like ironing would just dangle out there, a task never to be done, because I hate it. But now, it has a day - Thursday. 

As a homemaker nothing ever feels finished, "a woman's work is never done." This schedule gives me a sense of accomplishment. Whoo hoo! 

I love this paragraph on page 125

God did not create everything in the universe in one day. He took six days to do it in an orderly manner. He divided the creative work among the first six days of the week, focusing on creating specific parts of the universe and specific animal kinds on specific days. Then God rested on the seventh day. He didn't have to do it like this, but he did, and it sets a pattern for us to do the same. Focusing on one area of the home on a weekly basis keeps it under control. We are not so tempted to postpone certain housekeeping tasks forever when we have a day set aside to tackle them specifically. 

Some other tools I use for schedule organization....At a Glance calendar, always, and this Weekly Planner Notepad.